It seems that when people don’t show love every day to persons in their lives, they compensate that in the form of flattery or adulation when that person is dead.
Everybody seems to be present in that mournful event or reunion of sort. But the get-together thing really means nothing to the dead guy.
And neither are flowers nor Mass cards nor a well-scripted eulogy for that matter, they only serve as, well, gifts or offerings of some sort or sometimes show-offs to those who were left behind.
That dead guy needed us when he was still alive. He/she need us to show love every day.
While he was wasting away in the hospital bed when he couldn’t change his diapers by himself when he needed to feel he still has friends who care when all he has around him were random caregivers, nurses, and doctors when he felt afraid because he knew it was near the end.
Everyone deserves to feel that they are important and that some people still care for them even though they didn’t act on their best behavior when they were still up and about.
Our family, friends, and relatives need to feel we are there for them and it will not hurt if we can show love every day. It will make them feel good. And in return, we will also feel good.
Ways to Show Love Every Day
A few minutes of visit, a phone call, a “get well” card, a bouquet of flowers, anything just as long as the recipient gets it while he is still alive.
Just imagine if you were the “sick” guy, would you rather have a friend visit you for a few minute just to say hello or he stay the whole night on your wake? Get a short phone call or a have “sermon long” eulogy? Get a single stem of rose or a wreath?
I have seen so many of these scenes for the longest time. Mortal enemies for so long only to see the living guy asking forgiveness from the other guy who died.
Long lost relative telling the dead guy how they missed him so much at the funeral.
True or not, it only shows how good the dead guy was, how he would be missed, that he was such a great loss, and all other positive notes for the entire world to know except for the dead guy himself.
Oh, and add to that, the award-winning crying before the actual interment, and of course the best and expensive funeral service available (But why just now?).
Here’s my take on all of these: I am not against the practice of giving a great eulogies, the sadness mood, the feeling of loss etc., the not at all. Just show love everyday to everyone, especially the sick and dying family and friends of ours while they are still around. Let us make them know that we are there and we just simply care for them.
When we make them happy, we will feel happy. Then we don’t need to join the funeral charade because we have truly and genuinely done our part for the dead guy.
The message of the eulogy is for the dead guy to hear when he still can. When you had delivered that message to him/her directly, then both of you will be at peace.
Have a Simple and Better Life.