How to Love without Getting Hurt

I have often been consulted for advice by many people over the years and their concern is mostly about love and relationship. Different people of different age, gender and status have the same situation and the same problems.

The problems mostly are about cheating partners, trust issues, behavior, opinion differences, responsibilities, attitudes or some minor but irritating concerns.

There is a saying that goes, “A woman marries a man hoping he will change but he does not. A man marries a woman hoping she will not change but she does.”

There is no perfect person. Your partner was molded that way since birth. Why will he/she change overnight just because you came to the scene? Well, maybe during the honeymoon period, yes, but eventually the true colors will come out in time.

Do you want to love the easy way or the painful way?

Courtship is always the fun part when you are prim and proper and well mannered, which in most cases is not the real you, wooing or being wooed by someone, who is also prim and proper and well mannered, which is not the real them either.

After that, the complexities begin. When familiarity sets in and the two of you become so committed to each other, a duty somehow will exist. There will now be an ownership issue or a “follow me because I am right” attitude.

There is no rocket science needed to figure out this age-old concern. The problem boils down to the issue of control and plain selfishness.

The problem of the one who’s got the problem is his/her issue of control and selfishness or in short, the absence of LOVE.

It is an unexplainable state of being that cannot be described by mere words. It is an ecstatic condition that includes being very selfless, to the point of giving your all including your life to the one you love. Anything that is lesser than this is not love at all. You may just think that you are in love but if there is jealousy, anger, control, nagging, selfishness, envy and all that, there is no love at all. It is either there is or there is none.

When you love, the other person comes first, all their needs are more important than yours, all their opinions are important, all their actions are to be trusted. . . .

There is no perfect person in this world, there is only a perfect relation when you love that person.

Remember, loving is already the REWARD. When they love you back, that is just a bonus. Just love, it is the easy way. If you don’t, you are just choosing the painful way.

Have a Simple and Better Life

Anton Fontel

What really matters in this world is “what you want” and “what makes you happy.” All the rest are either secondary or unimportant. Your happiness is the prime concern so your stay in this world is as close as possible to Heaven.